The abridging of Violence Jack Harlem Bomber(AKA Slum King) by Chiissu. It is the first in 3 OVA of Violence Jack Abridged by Chiissu who does all the Voices, editing and makes up the script while editing so there is no script writing.
Production[]
Chiissu writes/records/edits all at the same time in sequence bit by bit until the whole thing is done (which took 2 months). It was done without script writing and only a few jokes were planned out before hand so it was written pretty much on the fly. It was edited on Windows Movie Maker and was recorded on a laptop microphone.
Music[]
- Ocean Dub DBZ episode title theme
- Hokuto No Ken OST track 23
Transcript[]
Introduction: In the near future of the 1980s, a meteor heads for earth and causes the Great Kanto Earthquake that turned everything into a Hokuto no Ken wasteland. However in the manga, it’s revealed that it was a battle between Devilman and Satan at the end of the Devilman manga that caused the earthquake and that the world was reshaped or something. However, it’s an OAV; it’s a filler episode in effect as it has not appeared in the manga. Japan had gone from being a cool place that everyone loved to being a dark, hateful place where no weaker oppressed and no one cares about everyone just like YouTube became. In this dark new world, one man who is probably a demon arises from the ashes of the old world and begins to take over with motorcycle biker gangs and samurai with guns… wait isn’t that Black Lion… nope is this two? Okay. (Shows the Slum King with upbeat music and a title card for him. onscreen text says "unedited scene. Its really this bad xD)
However, every Sister Jill has a Cutey Honey and out of a pile of dead people’s bones, comes out of our savior: Violence Jack!
(Jack screams for a few seconds) So Jack and the Slum King start fighting for some for unexplained reason. In the manga, the king’s man were killed by Jack when Jack was getting food for starving children and that is why the king hates Jack. But in here, they don’t care about explanations they just get into the action. By the way this is the only good fight scene in this anime, so enjoy it while you can.
(Ocean dub opening music to DBZ is used as the opening for Violence Jack Abridged)
Slum King: Men, Violence Jack is stronger than me, therefore I will not allow him to live so I’msending you to kill him!
Harlem Bomber: Wait a minute, if he is stronger than you and you are stronger than us then wouldn't that be Charmeleon sending Charmander to kill a Charizard?
Slum King: Actually, I’m hoping for a paper, scissors, rock thing.
(Rose is in a car with 2 men) Rose: Let’s get these girls back to be trained as lust slaves.
(Jack rushes past the car) Rose: Ahhhh!
(Car crashes) (screaming)
(Girls run out of the crashed vehical) Girl: Everyone run or you’ll be butt slaves like in Night Shift Nurses. (Yumi/Mari run through a building and Yumi Trips) Yumi: Ow! My ankle! Even though it didn't break the boot it broke a skin.
Mary: Hi I’m Mary, I sound like Stephanie Sheh a little, everyone that I know died in the earthquake but I’m looking from village to a village for my boyfriend. He have may survived the earthquake even though I have no proof of that so I’m kinda like Rei from Hokuto no Ken, except I don’t have super martial arts powers or Mad Max hair.
Yumi: I’m Yumi and I have nothing better to do, so I'll join your party and your quest.
Guy: (with Italian accent) Mama mai and I’m Mario-Luigi. Let’s get these girls back to theslave camp. (Guy gets beheaded and the head flies near the other guy who responds to it after 2 seconds. Jack throws the headless body and it nails the other guy)
Yumi: Oh no, it’s a knife wielding murderer. He's gonna pull out our guts, sodomize them, eat them, throw him up again, and then sodomize them again just for sick kicks cause that is why knife wielding murderers do and now he looks like a Native American version of the Crow. Wait, the knife wielding murderer isn’t finishing us off. Is he a nice guy or something?
(Rose runs up to the corpses) Rose: Where are those curvy girls get to? (Lightning Flashes) Ahhh!
Rose: Only one person is that tall end of century savior Ken-Oh.
Meanwhile in the Slum’s of Trench Town.
Bartender: Yeah buddy I'll get to you in a second Holy cow he’s 10 feet tall and he looks like a Japanese version of the Crow. Oy Sabu! Take care of this guy okay?
Sabu: Yeah! Ahhh!!
In this episode, wherever Violence Jack goes, people get driven into a bloodlust and start killing people because of his Jack knife, the stench of death follows him around even though he's not a smoker. But those who survived see the light of intelligence burning his eyes. But intelligence in this show, doesn’t seem to go together.
Meanwhile back at Harlem Bomber’s place.
Harlem Bomber: There's no doubt about it. The man you fought must be the man the king is looking for: Violence Jack.
Rose: Should we tell the king?
Harlem: No. We don’t know who it is. But its only one man, we can handle it.
Rose: Goku was one man and he took down the entire Red Ribbon Army.
Harlem: Yes, but I have Starscream motives behind my decision, even though I sound just like Ultra Magnus from the Transformers movie.
Kenichi: Wait a minute, we get choppers but we don’t get toilet paper? What’s wrong with this world?
Jack: Huh? (car pulls up to Bar)
Rose: No sign of Jack. I blame you for this.
Bartender: He was here just a minute ago. Wait a minute.He looks like the Crow so maybe he has Criss Angel powers since Criss Angel has abilities similar to the Crow.
And so Jack started gutting people because they were looking for him and he's the good guy.
Mary: We have to get out of here. Those choppers are probaly after us!
Yumi: Oh come on, we are not that important.
Guy on intercom: Attention! Jack’s been spotted in the slums. All choppers get to there!
Mary: There are gone! We have escaped! We're free!
(Both chix get whipped) (Mary/Yumi scream)
Rose: Time to come... with me.
Mary/Yumi: (nervous moaning)
Meanwhile at Harlem bomber’s lust slave camp.
Rose: We're gonna train you to be lust slaves and sell you off to the highest bidder in towns even though that we don’t have any courtesy in post apocalyptic stories. Time for some heavenly implied H yuri.
(Hokuto no ken music that sounds like XXX rated music) On screen text reads: "No H yuri for you now! Only Mari and the speedo men get to watch it"
Rose: You’re turn little virgin.
Meanwhile… just outside the window
Kenichi: Oh no my girlfriend is getting H yuri by Rose! I wanna H yuri her! Hyaaaaa! (crashed chopper into building and throwas knives into the 2 speedo guys) Mary are you still a virgin?
Mary: I think so. I’m not too sure of virginity and yuri.
Kenichi: Rose, I’m taking these girls with me!
Rose: No. It is whipping time for you virgin boy.
(Rose whips Kenichi but Ken blocks with a chair and throws it at Rose) Kenichi: Here's something that I learned from Springer: throwing chairs at lesbians. ((Ken Nails Rose) This is for yuring my girlfriend! Hya! Now to do things to her like that would make Riki-Oh cringe.
Mary: No Kenichi. I don’t want you to kill anyone!
Kenichi: Wait what? What about those Speedo guys I killed right in front of you?
Mary: They were just nameless extras. They don’t count; they even don’t have any proper faces. (text says "they don't even have eyes.")
Guy from intercom: Attention! Two lust slaves were being freed by Kenichi. Everybody stop them!
Kenichi: You girls go ahead and I’ll stay behind.
Mary: But Kenichi I worked so long and hard just to find you.
Kenichi: You’re right, we're in love. Let’s stay together.
Mary: Hey, where did Yumi go?
Kenichi: Forget Yumi, where did these guys come from?
Mary: It is physically impossible for those guys were had got behind us and I’m not even looking at them.
Bomber: Kenichi, kill Violence Jack or else we’ll kill you and your girlfriend in a very horrible fashion.
Kenichi: Here is the deal, I’ll kill Jack for you.
Mary: No Kenichi! I don’t want you to kill anybody even though you killed the Speedo guys.
Bomber: By the way, Yumi was the one who sold you out.
Laser: Burn down the town to flush Jack out!(burns down town with rockets)
Man in crowd: They’re killing us let’s kill them!
Bomber man: They’re killing us let’s kill them! Sabu gets killed and text onscreen says "Yeah. The kid gets it. Like in Pet Semetary"
Meanwhile… later.
Laser: Oh Bob Sagat!
(Jack rips out of the ground and people start shooting.)
Laser: Stop it! You are shooting at each other!
Laser: You idiots why are you so scared of? (Jack appears infront of him and stabbs him in the head) Ahhhhh!!!
Bomber man: Everyone, Run or you'll be gutted like in Riki-Oh. (shows Riki-oh manga clip of someone's guts spilling out his back)
Meanwhile, later
Kenichi: There’s Jack! Ninja Kunai! No! it didn’t work! why did i think a small knife would kill a big man. Well, time to get gutted. Huh? He spared me! Hitler-iffic!
Meanwhile, back at Harlem Bombers place
Harlem Bomber: What do you mean Jack's in the castle? (Guy spills blood out and falls) Now that just didn’t make any sense.
Rose: You can’t kill me! I’m...I’m the fan service. (Jack throws a can of gasoline and Rose's men shoot it. It explodes)
Text reads: "1 Gas can manes 3 booms??!?!?!" Yumi: Oh Mary I’m sorry I sold you out to Harlem Bomber. But when you had Ken I realized that I had nothing. So I felt Jealous and started to hate you, can you ever forgive me?
Mary: Yes I forgive you cause I’m just that nice.
Kenichi: Mary, 80’s girl.
Mary: Kenichi, Yumi’s dead.
Kenichi: Yeah, and for no real reason either. It was like its a plot convenience. Let’s just say she died of AIDS, you know because she got yuried by Rose. And Rose was with a lot of women. (on the roof) There's a chopper and Jack's fighting the Slum King. Let’s get out of here!
Bomber: Jack, why did you come into my castle?
Jack: I have come to stop your Aryan supremacy.
Bomber: Just because Me, Shin, Souther, Masquerade from Bakugan and Satan all have blond hair and blue eyes doesn't mean we're all evil. Jack: But you ARE evil.
Bomber: Well, at least I get two more lines in my movie. (slashes with sword) +5 Vorpal Falshion!!
Mary: Kenichi we have to help Jack!
Kenichi: I'd love to Mary but there isn’t time. There is a twister coming!
Bomber: Jack when I defeat you, I’ll be able to defeat the Slum King from the experience I have gained from defeating someone as high leveled as you are.
Mary: Deus Ex Machina!
Bomber: (slashes with sword and chops off Jacks arm) +5 Vorpal Falshion!! (Jack catches the rope) No fair! You only had help from the humans just like in Transformers. (Jack throws a chopper on Bomber) No! I died in a Looney Toons way something heavy falling on me. (Kenichi dies) You killed Keni...chi. (Jack stabs Bomber) No, not in the back my guts are in there.
And so Jack was healed by lighting just like in a bad video game and Mary went off to live in the wasteland. The End.
Trivia[]
- The manga/anime Riki-Oh is a seinen manga that is known for having extreamly graphic brutal violence including organ removal(as seen in the screencap)
- Laser(blue haired guy who says "Bob Saget") had a large burst of profanity in the dub which explains the line "Bob Saget" (which is a quote from Tourettes Guy"
- Rose's voice was originally meant for Blue form the 2nd OVA or Violence Jack but when a friend of Chiissu asked to be in it and later asked to do Blue, Chiissu used the voice for Rose(as Chiissu didn't have a voice planned out for Rose until a few minutes-seconds before beginning the voice recordings.
- Harlem Bomber's voice was based off of Banjo Ginga who played Ultra Magnus in Transformers and Souther in Fist of the North Star
- The voice of Jack wasn't fully decided upon by Chiissu until the last recording of the first lines by Jack.
- The Intercom Man voice is the voice Chiissu used to audition for Uighur(weeger) in Christop17's Hokuto No Ken Abridged Movie
- The 70s xxx sounding music for the H yuri scene is from the Hokuto No Ken OST
- The last few minutes were recorded in one night at 11pm-3:40Am and there were several errors in naming