Narrator: She's hot, she's a size-zero, she's a huge whore! It's Sailor V, the most powerful jailbait you'll ever meet! Go to Sailor V's website now and get 3000 4Kids points. Sailor V, coming to 4Kids TV!
Serena: Oh Jesus! Sailor V: The Movie! I wonder what it's about?
Luna: Maybe a Sailor Scout, Serena?
Serena: (to Luna) Shut up, cat!
Kris: I'm so sad about our animation project.
Corrine: That's not your real voice. Stop talking like that. This is Japan.
Kris: Oh Corrine. But my Southern accent makes me sound like a Southern Belle which gives me a backstory so that I'm a more three-dimensional character.
Corrine: Wait a minute, is this Japan? Are we from New York?
Kris: I just don't know anymore.
Animator: Egh, needs work.
Kris: But I worked so hard on it. I worked so hard that my right eye drooped down three inches.
Animator: Yeah, well this is still crap, bitch.
Karin: Don't be sad, Kris. Let's race across the street.
Kris: Runnin' across a piece of street is fun!
Amy: Hey, wait. You dropped this. Oh, forget it, no-one can ever hear me. Good thing her name and address are on here.
Nephlite: Stars, why do you rule me so poorly? My next target, a lesbian animator. Perfect!
Amy: I'll have to return this later.
(RACING CAR NOISE)
Amy: Woah! That was... a cool car.
Kris: Gosh darnit, I finally get one part right, then I mess up another. If only there was a device that removes lead from paper. I wonder how far Corrine got?
(DUN! DUN! DUN!)
Kris: That stupid bitch! No wonder why she kept tellin' me she wasn't in the mood yesterday. She's been workin' overtime! I have no choice! I must use my last resort!
(This is a flashback!)
Kris: Oooh, look Corrine! Here are pencils that real animators use! They can make us draw better!
Corrine: No, Kris. I think my raw talent is what makes me draw well.
Kris: Well, not everyone's as lucky as you, slut!
Corrine: You know, I don't like it when you use hateful words, Kris. Especially when I crush all your hopes and dreams.
Kris: Boo-hoo. Wait, is that how Southern people cry? Boo-hoo.
Corrine. Here, Kris, stop your whining. I bought you the pencils because I'm made of money and you're poor as hell.
Kris: Oh, Corrine! I'll treasure them always by never using them.
Corrine: What the hell is the point of that?
Kris: I have no choice! I have to break my promise! Jesus, forgive me for my way with drawings!
Jesus: Oh my... What kind of f**king friend are you?! You use those on every f**king segment?! I mean, f**k!
Kris: That's harsh, Jesus. Holy! Where did you come from?
Nephlite: I came through the window.
Kris: What the f**k's going on?
Nephlite: Can I see your pencil?
Kris: No, it's mine!
Nephlite: Come on, I just, I just wanna see it.
Kris: Look with your eyes, not with your hands!
Nephlite: Aw, please. I wanna, I wanna touch it.
Kris: What? No!
Nephlite: *evil laugh*
Kris: You dropped it. What the hell was that?
Nephlite: What the f**k are you doing on my car?!
Mercury: Oh, I'm sorry.
Nephlite: There's street all around you. Why did you choose the roof of my car?! Bitch, get off!
Mercury: Run away.
Nephlite: You really are the most useless Scout!
Mercury: What the f**k is up with your licence plate?
Corrine: Look, Kris! I bought us food! Come on, let's spend some time together!
Kris: No, I'm not in the mood. You're used to that phrase, right?
Corrine: Oh, come on, I bought us KFC. It pretends to be Southern, you pretend to be Southern.
Kris: Don't go there, bitch!
Luna: You should've gone up against Nephlite by yourself. Because you suck.
Serena: Next time we see him, I'm gonna kick his ass into the tyrannosphere!
Amy: The what?
Serena: The tyrannosphere.
Luna: What the hell is that?
Serena: Oh, come on. You guys don't know what the tyrannosphere is?
Amy: Is that like a T-rex in the atmosphere?
Serena: You're so stupid, Amy.
Narrator: Here's a completely useless scene with Raye in pink overalls. Please laugh at your own discretion.
Narrator: We now return to the, uh, plot thing.
Zoisite: Oohoho, Nephlite. Spending some quality time with your friend Jack Daniel's?
Nephlite: Oh, I've seen you've been studying human sarcasm.
Zoisite: Yeah, because we don't have that in the Negaforce or anything.
Zoisite: No. No, I think it's the Negaforce.
Nephlite: Nega... Oh, whatever.
Zoisite: Shut up, drunker.
Amy: So, Corrine, have you seen anything strange lately?
Corrine: Just Kris.
Amy: Anything else strange?
Corrine: No, just Kris.
Kris: Can you two squealin' pigs shut your damn pieholes? I'm tryin' to work!
Karin: Kris, how dare you be so rude! You're sleeping on the couch tonight!
Kris: You never touch me anymore anyway!
Girl: Uh, Kris. You have a phone call.
Kris: Hello? Yes, boss. No, there won't be a sequel. The movie will end with Sailor V being consumed by the dark forces! MUHAHAHAHA!
Amy: So have you seen anything strange?
Corrine: Come back, Kris!
Kris: Darling imagery!
Corrine: This is the part where I pass out. Whew.
Luna: Oh great. The Scouts can barely take down one enemy.
Serena: Okay guys, let's all transform at once. Moon Prism Power!
Amy: Mercury Power!
Raye: Mars Power!
(All 3 transformation songs play simultaneously)
Moon: Okay, maybe that wasn't such a good idea.
Gemini Twins: The Gemini Twins will destroy you!
Gemini Sister #2: Mars Fire Ignite!
Sailor Scouts: AAAAHHHH
Gemini Sister #1: Mercury Bubbles Blast!
Moon: Okay, why are her bubbles actually effective? The only way to defeat them is to use teamwork.
Mercury: You said it, Sailor Moon!
Moon: Shut up. Moon Tiara Magic!
Mercury: Mercury Bubbles Blast!
Mars: Mars Fire Ignite!
Gemini Twins: We're not really twins!
Gemini Sister #1: I was born first.
Kris: I'm sorry, Corrine.
Corrine: Show me your pencil case, Kris.
Kris: It's empty.
Corrine: Mine too.
Kris: You bitch!
Corrine: What? You did it too!
Kris: That's not the point!
Corrine: Well, what is the point, huh, Kris?
Kris: Why do you always have to put me on the spot?!
Serena: So, uh, this episode was about cheating. I don't know how exactly. I mean, it seemed pretty kusher to me. The pencil was hers, after all. Just, uh, don't cut corners, kids.
Luna: You should talk.
Serena: Shut up, you insensitive bitch! I have a learning disability!
(t.A.T.U.'s "All About Us" plays during the credits)