|SAO Abridged Parody|
Something Witty Entertainment
March 29, 2013 - Ongoing
Sword Art Online Abridged is an abridged series by Something Witty Entertainment under the YouTube channel SWEabridged. It is a parody of the anime series Sword Art Online. The plot follows very closely to the original series, but characters are often quite different from their canon counterparts, and some even have different names.
It's the year 2022 and virtual reality has progressed to the point where it has become hard to tell it apart from reality thanks to Kayaba Akihiko and his company Argus with the launch of their newest invention, The NerveGear.
Thousands of people rush to play its launch title, "Sword Art Online" only to find that when you die in the game you die in real life and they can't log out.
Now the fate of the players lay in the hands of one of the games strongest players. The only problem is he's an asshole who doesn't care about them.
The opening song for each episode is a short clip of "This is War" by 30 Seconds to Mars.
In October 2014, it was announced that Jragoswinn and Misanda had left Something Witty Entertainment due to creative differences and their characters had been recast. This led to delay in the production of episode 5 as new voice actors were cast for the characters of Klein (Dizzasta), Asuna (xbubblemunkyx), and Tiffany (Octopimp).
- YamatoSFX as Kazuto Kirigaya/Kirito:
- The male protagonist of the series. As in the original series, he is an extremely skilled combatant and one of the best players in the game. However, in the abridged version, Kirito is an arrogant and snarky egomaniac who often ridicules other players mercilessly, driving people like Asuna to call him "The Crown Prince of Douchebags". Despite the fact that he knowingly goes out of his way to inconvenience and ridicule other players, Kirito is still extremely self-conscious about himself. He is shocked and becomes incredibly upset whenever people kill themselves because of him. Though Kirito complains constantly about weaker players, he is often manipulated into joining miscellaneous quests. During his coerced membership of the Moonlit Black Cats, he meets and befriends Sachi who convinces him to try and be less of an asshole by taking the feeling of others into consideration. However, after her death, he realizes that being nice to people can only cause him pain since they will die regardless. He then decides to "kill forever" any part of him that can feel for others. Kirito's egomaniacal and narcissistic tendencies grow exponentially after Sachi's death, as well as resulting in several PTSD induced psychotic breaks. These include him brutally murdering the NPC who abandoned his guild mid-battle (resulting in Sachi's death), hysterically crying at night, mentally shattering after being reminded by Silica and himself of Sachi's last words ("It's not your fault."), and desperately trying to console Lisbeth when he learns that she lost her entire guild as well. Despite still thinking he doesn't care about people, when an entire army was on the edge of dying he fought a giant demon boss so that he wouldn't have to see anyone else die. In the end he decided that it was best that he'd fight for the rest of the players to be free of the game, even though he loved being the person he's not in real life, because he didn't want anymore of his friends die, even at the cost of his own life.
- Misanda (eps. 2) and xbubblemunkyx (eps. 5–present) as Asuna Yuuki/Asuna:
- The female protagonist of the series. Though she is skilled at combat and strategy - possibly even more than Kirito - she utterly lacks in the fundamentals of gaming, unable to open her menu, send trade requests, or even eat. She is also unfamiliar with most gaming terminology, asking if the "expies" (EXP) she received after her first kill meant she was dying. Asuna is adept at dealing with Kirito's narcissism, but it is shown that she is extremely uncomfortable with black characters, namely Tiffany. During their scenes together, Asuna exaggerates her speech in an effort to emulate AAVE, to Kirito's endless amusement. In episode 7 Asuna reveals her attraction to Kirito (which until this point was only hinted at, if not completely expected due to the original content) when Asuna interrupts an intimate moment between Lisbeth and Kirito and threatens to ruin Lisbeth's life. Episode 7 is also the most psychopathic example of Asuna's character in the show. Despite her vaguely racist (and sociopathic) tendencies, Asuna proves her worth as a leader and easily gains the trust of others throughout the series. After seeing that Kirito has a emotional side she developed feelings for him and hates seeing him in harms way. Even though she starts to show this affection more openly throughout the episodes, she will still mock and/or threaten Kirito like before and will even try to play mind games with him in order to seem like the better person such as when the two got married in game, which they both immediately regretted.
- Jragoswinn (eps. 1 and 3) and Dizzasta (eps. 5–present) as Klein/BallsDeep69:
- The first player that Kirito meets in the game. He made his first character, BallsDeep69, as a joke to use while he got the hang of the game, but was stuck with the name when the creator removed the ability to log out. Kirito refuses to acknowledge Klein's real name (with the exception of when he has an emotional moment) upon meeting him and instead chooses to call him "Balls" or "Ballsy", something other players have continued. Klein corrects other players so often that the rest of his guild thinks "My name is Klein" is how he says hello. He is considered a legendary warrior by Don Fluffles' men. In the end he is one of the main factors of making Kirito change, much to his excitement.
- Jragoswinn (eps. 2) and Octopimp (eps. 5–present) as Tiffany:
- A player in Sword Art Online, and the show's version of Agil. He doesn't appreciate the bravado most players put on in the game and enjoy putting people on edge, perhaps explaining his friendship with Kirito. In his first appearance, he attempted to be helpful by encouraging new players to study their player guide, but stopped when he realized no one had even opened the book. He isn't seen again until the fifth episode, where he has since set up a weapons shop, and admits that most of the players are idiots and are willing to buy anything and everything. He is amiable to Kirito, his least favorite customer, as Kirito isn't "stupid enough to buy his weapons". Tiffany dislikes Asuna, as she refuses not to talk to him without a gangster slang, which is her way of trying to seem cool and not racist.
- Takahata101 as Akihiko Kayaba/Heathcliff:
- The creator of the NerveGear and head programmer of the game Sword Art Online. He started the death game because he discovered on launch day that due to his sleep deprived attempt to release the game on time he didn't notice a glitch in the software that caused the NerveGear to kill people when they get a game over. Still delirious from his lack of sleep, and not being the best under stress, he decided that it'd be best if he masqueraded his mistake as some sort of master plan in order to avoid a low Metacritic score for being the game that accidentally killed a few people. He is a big fan of 80s and 90s movies and makes references to them to explain the situation to the players, but since none of the players have seen the movies he realizes he has to improvise. He then spent the next two years trying to think of a way out of the mess that he found himself in, but when the players took a month to beat the first floor he decided to help them out by creating an Avatar named "Heathcliff". As a result of simultaneously trying to lead the idiotic players of the game and trying to think of of a solution to his problem his plans became even less fruitful and was almost brought to the brink of insanity by their stupidity. He gets easily annoyed at the stupidity of most of the players. He is know to play cartoon sound effects and silly music when he thinks something is a joke, for example during Kirito's dual with Kuradeel he played circus music because he thought it was a clown show. As Heathcliff he appears as a stoic leader who is proud to lead his tropes, but he is at constant odds when he comes into contact with Kirito. When they first met face to face he offered him a place in his guild thinking he's graciously accept and was caught of guard when he refused. And he once sent him and Asuna on their honeymoon just so Kirito wouldn't "piss someone off and kill thousands" during a peace talk his Guild was going to. At some points he lets his secret identity slip by making a few references and getting angry when no one gets them, but luckily for him he's surrounded by idiots so no one put two and two together. When Kirito figures out who he is via his references he reveals that he feels a kinship with him and Asuna, as they "know what it's like to grow up a genius in a world that just can't keep up with you". After he is defeated he revealed how much of a hole he had dug himself into. It was then pointed out by Asuna that he could have blamed the whole situation on hackers pretending to be him. A point that he wishes he thought of himself.
- AtomicVoice as Gary:
- An NPC from the world of SAO and is a member of the Moonlit Black Cats guild; the show's version of Ducker. Gary abandons his guild by teleporting out of the dungeon along with all the teleport crystals, leaving them to fend for themselves. He is often heard saying "We Must Save My Family", pertaining to his quest which Keita never finished. He reappears in Episode 5 during the boss-clearing meeting where Kirito mercilessly tortures and presumably kills him for leaving Sachi to die.
- Rachel Michelle as Yolko:
- A timid, clumsy and dim-witted player in Sword Art Online and a prospective victim of a murderer. After her friend Kains was murdered in a Safe Zone, Yolko accompanies Asuna and Kirito in their investigation. Though she is helpful in the beginning of the investigation, Yolko reveals she believes the killer is the ghost of her guild leader Griselda, back from the dead to seek revenge on her and Schmitt, right before she too is murdered in a Safe Zone. It is later revealed that she and Kains faked their deaths as part of a plan to get Schmitt to confess to killing Griselda. Kirito and Asuna reveal to them that the killer was not Schmitt, but Griselda's husband Grimlock.
- ChaseFace (ep. 5) and KaggyVA (ep. 6) as Schmitt:
- A paranoid player in Sword Art Online who was often afraid of his angry fans and couldn't handle pressure. He makes a brief appearance in the fifth episode as the prospective victim of the murderer Asuna and Kirito are investigating. Schmitt worked as a game reviewer in the real world, and, since being trapped in the game, has become paranoid that his more hateful commenters will take advantage of his predicament and make attempts on his life. When Kains and Yolko appear to Schmitt pretending to be ghosts as part of their plan to get him to admit to killing Griselda, Schmitt reveals that he is willing to comply with just about any demands (including killing or crucifixion of orphans) in order to save his own life. He is so paranoid about dying that he simply takes the blame for anything in hopes of living.
- LordMegatronG1 as Jeffrey:
- The show's version of PoH. A player in Sword Art Online. He is first seen in the fight against the first floor boss. He is shown to be insane as he constantly has visions of Jesus, who tells him to kill people. Most of the things Jeffrey says and does are because "Jesus told [him] to." In episode 6, it is revealed that Jeffrey is the leader of Laughing Coffin, one of the most feared red guilds in the game. Jeffrey always recites a Bible verse before killing his victims. The other members of Laughing Coffin are not particularly fond of the religious theme that Jeffrey has established, and neither are any potential high-paying clients. Kirito advises Jeffrey and the other members of Laughing Coffin to re-brand themselves in order to be able to perform contract killing for a wider demographic. In return he made his three contracts into Kirito's slaves. This encounter resulted in their eventual arrest after releasing an advert for their guild that gave away where their secret base was.
- Sonicring123Dubs as Johnny Black
- One of the members of Laughing Coffin who is not very happy with Jeffrey's decisions on how to lead the guild. He wanted the guild to be bigger than the three members they had and it to be more profitable. But this caused them to be easily manipulated by Kirito into making an advert for their guild, which Johnny narrated, that gave away where the location of their secret base was resulting in their arrest.
- TehExorcist as Diabel:
- The leader of the group that forms to fight the first boss. Aside from Kirito, Asuna, and Tiffany, he is the most intelligent, sensible, and competent member of the group. He is very annoyed by everyone else's complete stupidity and lack of combat skills. When the boss's health was low, Diabel tried to attack the boss himself, but was fatally injured. He was offered a health potion by Kirito which he refused due to his loss of hope in the other players and inability to cope with their idiocy. He died in Kirito's arms, stating they would have never been friends.
- spritestuff as Keita:
- A cheater and the leader of the Moonlit Black Cats. He is also a manipulative opportunist and noticed that Kirito had very impressive stats, so he "convinced" him to join his guild. The rest of the guild is mostly made up of NPCs from various quests. Keita figured out that as long as you don't complete the quests, the NPCs stay with you and help fight. Keita owns a hat that adds +50 charisma points when worn, which he uses to convince other players (mostly Kirito) to do certain tasks. Upon learning that his entire guild (except for Kirito) was killed, he commits suicide by jumping off a ledge. It was revealed later that because he stole the tutorial NPC he was partly responsible for most of the deaths.
- NikoruChan18 as Sachi
- A member of the Moonlit Black Cats. She has very poor internet connection, causing her to lag and glitch frequently. She ends up running away because she's worried that her lag will end up getting her guild killed. When Kirito finds her, he falls in love with her and she is able to show him how much of a jerk he has been to other players. When fighting in a booby-trapped room, she lags, which leads to her death. Like the anime, Kirito is actually still grieving because of this incident. Unlike the anime, Sachi's death plays a larger role in the series as it affects Kirito's sanity.
- Rachel Michelle as Silica
- The youngest player seen so far in Sword Art Online, appearing in episode four. Though she was a member of a small guild, she split off from her group when her teammates threatened to skin her pet dragon, Pina, for leather-working experience. Silica's naivety ends up getting Pina killed when they are trapped in a battle with higher level monsters, and she is forced to team up with Kirito to resurrect him with the Numa flower. On their journey together, Silica admits that she isn't fond of Kirito's callous nature and brutal efficiency, and calls him "the worst person [she'd] ever met" when they finish their quest. When the Numa flower fails to resurrect her pet due to it being expired, she goes berserk, leaving temporary gouges on Kirito's face.
- Megami33 as Lizbeth
- A skilled blacksmith who runs a weapons shop in Lindas on the 48th floor. She is best friends with Asuna who frequents the shop to repair her sword. The year prior to her meeting with Kirito, she was part of guild who perished in a high-level dungeon looking for a rare item for Lizbeth's blacksmithing. She blames herself because she ran ahead and unaware of her surroundings, triggered the trap that led to their deaths. Lizbeth then refused to leave her shop for nearly a year until Kirito forced her to come with him to retrieve a rare item guarded by a dragon. They connect over their similar circumstances and Lizbeth develops romantic feelings towards Kirito. Asuna then finds out and threatens Lizbeth to stay away from Kirito. Presumably, Asuna later made good on her threat and burnt down her shop.
- puccaagarukiss as Rosalia
- A player in Sword Art Online, and previous teammate to Silica. After driving Silica out of their guild, Rosalia follows her and Kirito on their journey, and ambushes them. She reveals herself to be the leader of the low-level guild "Titan's Hand", and orders Kirito to hand the Numa flower over to her. When Kirito refuses, she begins to monologue, with the intent of breaking Kirito's spirit. However, her words have the opposite effect, as Kirito becomes enraged when Rosalia compares his voice to a girl's. Rosalia orders her minions to attack him, but his high level renders their efforts futile, and (unlike the anime) he ultimately kills her by cutting her throat with the edge of his sword. As she dies, Rosalia tells Kirito to "Enjoy this while you can, it's the deepest you'll ever be in a woman."
- Antfish as Godfree
- A member of the Knights of the Blood Oath who is a hardcore Roleplayer. He is brutally murdered by Kuradeel.
- redasatomato as Yui
- The therapist program of the game, she was meant to manage and care for the players if and when they developed any psychological issues caused by the game. But she was unable to since day one for reasons unknown even to her. As a result she fell into despair as she watched countless players die and go insane unable to help. During this time she saw Kirito and Asuna and concluded from how they interacted that one would eventually kill the other. But to her surprise they ended up falling in love with each other, which caused her to become curious how such a broken relationship could possible work. So she somehow entered the game and managed to trick the two into taking care of her in order to begin her study of them. During this time she felt like their daughter, even though she knew they were using her in one of their mind games against each other. But eventually, due to unforeseen circumstance, she ended up being deleted by the system. But Kirito managed to save her data as a game item so they could see her again when they beat the game.
- YamatoSFX: Kirito, Beta-Tester's Roommate, Timmy, Additional Voices
- Hayabusa449: Kuradeel, Fatty (ep. 1), Kibaou (ep. 2), "The Bandits Are Coming" NPC (ep. 3), Kains, Additional Voices
- Jragoswinn: Klein (1/2), Narrator, Tiffany (1/2), Beta-Tester, Stephen, Caps Lock Guy, Sir Jack Dapper, Nicholas the Renegade
- Misanda: Asuna (1/2), Gregory the Butler & Info Broker (ep. 3)
- Sonicring123: Girl Guy (ep. 1), Party Member (ep. 4), The Three Bromigos (ep. 5), extras, Johnny Black (ep. 6)
- Dizzasta: Klein (2/2), Goon 1 and 3 (ep. 4), Announcer (ep. 7)
- xbubblemunkyx: Asuna (2/2)
- Octopimp: Tiffany (2/2)
- Takahata101: Akihiko Kayaba/Heathcliff (ep. 1, ep. 9, ep. 10 and ep. 11)
- TehExorcist: Diabel (ep. 2)
- LordMegatronG1: Jeffrey & Voices in Jeffrey's Head, Charlie (ep. 3 and ep. 6)
- Spritestuff: Keita (ep. 3)
- AtomicVoice: Gary
- NikoruChan18: Sachi (ep. 3)
- SakiSeshi: Dungeon Announcer (ep. 3)
- Connor McKinley: Mob Goon (ep. 3)
- Rachel Michelle: Silica (ep. 4), Yolko
- puccaagarukiss: Rosalia (ep. 4)
- KaggyVA: "Dream" Kirito, Goon 2, Additional Voices (ep. 4), Schmitt (2/2)
- Daniel Hodge: Additional voices (ep. 4)
- ChaseFace: Schmitt (1/2)
- Sonicring123Dubs: Johnny Black (ep. 6 and ep. 9)
- KaiserNeko: Grimlock (ep. 6)
- MOM0KI: Griselda (ep. 6)
- Megami33: Lizbeth (ep. 7)
- Antfish: Godfree (ep. 9)
- redasatomato: Yui (ep. 10)
|Episode 1||Mar 29, 2013|
|Episode 2||Aug 19, 2013|
|Episode 3||Dec 21, 2013|
|Episode 4||Apr 9, 2014|
|Episode 5||Dec 11, 2014|
|Episode 6||Apr 22, 2015|
|Episode 7||Jul 31, 2015|
|Episode 8||Nov 1, 2015|
|Episode 9||Mar 11, 2016|
|Episode 10||Aug 28, 2016|
|Episode 11||28 Mar 2017|
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